Confessions of a Travelling Klepto

Contrary to the perception among some people in law enforcement, I do not swipe everything that isn’t nailed down in hotels. There is not a big bag that I sweep stuff into, and despite my jokes about stealing toilet rolls, I only did this when I was travelling on a shoestring and expected to use public toilets where there might not be TP.

Having said that I am not proud of this:

Or this:

I stay in a lot of hotels and I think the point of stocking the rooms with toiletries and pens is for guests to take them. The companies that partner with hotels to supply the toiletries hope to convert hotel guests into customers of their products, and I’m pretty sure hotels don’t mind you walking away with the cheap pens.

But there is a line between taking freebies and being a compulsive klepto that I think I’ve crossed somewhere along the way. After all, I don’t need that many pens, soaps and lotions but I still can’t help myself. These things have absolutely no value to me.

OK, there is a bag. After every trip, I place the swiped, er, gifted toiletries in a big plastic laundry bag (taken from a hotel of course) in my closet. The bag has become rather full now. As for the pens, I reflexively grab them before I leave the room and they go into my briefcase. Ever so often, I empty out the pens from my briefcase and transfer them to a drawer in my office. I was shocked when I did spring cleaning one day and cleared out the drawer.

I used to think there wasn’t a problem until I started to feel a sense of loss and incompleteness when I did not take the stuff with me. However, I’m pleased to report that there have been positive therapeutic developments. Many hotels have stopped stocking pens in the rooms, using covid as an excuse to cut costs (it’s an excuse because everyone knows that covid is airborne, silly). For waste reduction, hotels have also moved away from single-use sample-sized toiletries to large dispensers that are sometimes wall-mounted. I won’t remove those because that’s clearly wrong. I am not this guy for sure.

In the meantime, hit me up if you want some very nice hand cream samples or a hotel-exclusive Bic pen.